


America's States

by neat12feet



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: F/F, F/M, Games, Humor, M/M, Multi, Sex Shop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:34:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27846102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neat12feet/pseuds/neat12feet
Summary: America's protective of his states to say the least, but that doesn't stop them from acting recklessly and leaving a path of destruction in their wake. An unique assortment of characters, a few not so chance encounters between the States and Nations that come back to bite all parties in the ass, and a mansion that definitely shouldn't have a stripper pole.A series of stories featuring America, The States, and The Nations.
Relationships: America/Russia (Hetalia), Germany/North Italy (Hetalia), South Italy/Spain (Hetalia)
Kudos: 39





	1. The Nations Game?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Hetalia fanfic!!! I'm actually relatively new to the fandom, so yeah. Honestly I'm thinking this will be a minimum of three chapters. One for the game, One for the reveal, One for the Aftermath, and then we'll go from there.  
> Also yes I know some of these stereotypes for the States are not pretty, particularly Alabama, but keep in mind none of them are blood siblings and they're allowed to have relationships. It's just not common. Also these stereotypes do not reflect my beliefs. Other than all that please enjoy!

In an undisclosed conference room in the Jones Mansion

Nevada, Florida, California, Georgia, Alabama, Colorado, Texas, New York, and Mississippi sat around the oval table. Quiet chattering filled the room but in no way was the atmosphere relaxed. Each and everyone one of them only really had one thing on their mind.  
Money...  
From the head of the table Nevada began to speak, “Alright you sick mofos. We’ve played this game long enough. It’s time to put an end to it.” The room went silent.  
He pulled a board from behind his desk that read:

10 Points- Liechtenstein, Belarus.  
5 Points- China, Japan, Germany, North Italy, England.  
4 Points- South Italy, Spain, Switzerland, Prussia, Ukraine.  
3 Points- The Baltics, The Nordics, Belgium, Hungary.  
1 Point- France.

“Let’s go over the rules of the game. You’ve had two years to rack up points. Your goal was to interact with the nations without them realizing you’re a state. Interactions can include online relationships,intimate relationships, platonic relationships, and random encounters. Each individual interaction counts and the winning group gets their point total times 100 in cash. Paid for by the loser of course. Just a reminder Russia was (and is) off limits due to him fucking our father. In addition France is only one point because he’s a manwhore.” The room echoed a chorus of agreements which started up a conversation on how easy it was to get France into their beds. The general consensus was the simplest way was to wine and dine him though Florida was making a valiant attempt to steer the conversation towards the topic of nude beaches.

Now, Texas wasn’t a patient man but he was a big one, so when he slammed his palms down on the table the room was silenced. "If you're done stalling, then I'd like to get this show on the road." 

"You’re just scared we're gonna win." called Georgia as she leaned back in her chair crossing her legs so her skirt slid up her thighs. 

“You should cover yourself Georgy” mumbled Colorado, his eyes fluttering. He wasn’t really all there at the moment. His high was fading and he was more than a little sleepy. “The only one here interested in your body is Sweet Home Alabama over there.”  
Georgia just glared at him from across the table not saying a word.On the other hand Alabama was not so forgiving, she stood up suddenly. “You son of a bitch! My preferences are none of your business! Your hella lucky I don’t leap over this table and shoot you right where you stand, but my Daddy taught me better so I won’t.” 

"Look y'all can we just get to the competition now!" spoke up Mississippi.

"Fine then... If you're so confident, you go on then.” Huffed Alabama.

“I think I just might hun.”

Nevada, attempting to regain control of the situation, said, “Team Casino FruitCake will go first. That’s me, Mississippi, and Georgia.. Georgia you wanna read out our exploits.”

“Sure thang. Nevada sold pictures of Russia to Belarus on four separate occasions. I drank tea with England and yes it was that nasty ass british tea. It was warm what kind of tea is warm and UNSWEET! You have no idea how much I suffer-”

“Get to the point”

“Ahemm… Right sorry.I only did that once. Mississippi ran into North Italy at a pasta convention. Literally .Nevada partied with Prussia. And I ended up meeting with Japan to talk about anime and manga. He’s just absolutely adorable just FYI. I just want to squish his little cheeks. I know he’s older than me but-”

“Again, Georgy. You got distracted.” said Colorado of course no one heard him, but they did hear Texas when he slammed his fist on the table yet again and half yelled “Get your shit together Georgia.”

“Sorry. Anyway both Missy and Nevada over there slept with France. I was gonna, but I don’t do play boys. Ya’know? But I did end up cooking him breakfast when he spent the night with Nevada he was super tired that morning probably cause from what I heard from Cali who heard from Tucker who heard from Louis who heard from one of Nevada’s employees, Nevada is an absolute Beast in bed.”

“I’m happy to hear that.”

“Shut up. Nobody but Bama and the gossip hoes care about your sex life.”

“Actually I believe my sex life is quite fasci-”

“I resent that! Gossip is an important form of-” 

“Again my interests ar-”

“Shut up ALL OF YOU!” Screamed Texas standing up so fast his chair flew back and the table push forward causing the other side of the room to gasp. “Ally no one wants to your excuses for your freaky fantasies. God knows where he went wrong with you. Georgia how the fuck are you even the oldest in this room. What is wrong with you? New York grow some balls and fix this mess, and finally Nevada… Good on you, just keep in mind that you can’t compare to me because everything is bigger in Texas.”  
After a brief moment of contemplation New York spoke up “If you really want me to take control of this shitshow. I’ll do that. So as you know Texas, Colorado, and myself make up Team Mary Jane. First off I met the Baltics at an emotional support group twice. Texas met Switzerland at a gun range. From my understanding he absolutely wiped the floor with you.”

“I hate to admit it but it’s true. For such a neutral country he’s surprisingly violent.”

“You’re one to talk,” laughed out California. 

“Fuck you bitch.”

“Fuck yo-”

“Speaking of Switzerland,” continued New York. I “actually got into the annual castle party at Liechtenstein and met well- Liechtenstein. Pretty badass huh. Anyway Colorado did drugs with China a couple times. No surprise there though. And finally Texas slept with France.”

“Damn right I did. After all everything is-”

“Bigger in Texas. We know.”

“Welp good on you up next is Team Drunk Beach Hoes.” Began California. “That’s Alabama, Florida, and myself. Together, the three of us slept with France. Florida became friend with Ukraine over winter wear, and I made out with her. I also talked Yaoi with Hungary, and let me just say, her doujinshi is TO DIE FOR! To be honest I say that because I was killed in a hit and run on the way home and woke up in a morgue. Super awkward for the mortician-”

“Focus Cali”

“Right so Alabama and Florida went drinking with the Nordics and got completely wasted. Like W. A.S.T.E.D. Wasted! I had to come pick em up and everything. Then like an absolute lady boss. Our resident little sexually repressed Catholic school girl Bama- still don’t get why you go back every so often, like nobody actually likes highschool- went out and ran an adult toy shop for Two years and it’s still in business. It even holds, yes it’s still running, live events! And that is how she met North Italy and Germany, who came as a pair. Twice. And get this, she met South Italy and Spain who came as a pair too. Twice. I mean get a load outta that. That is the shit we need in the Family Gossip Rag” Finished California.

At this point the table had lost it. Colorado was clapping, Texas was chuckling, and the rest of the table was flat out laughing. Alabama just sat with a smug smirk on her face.  
Eventually the room quieted down again as the weight of all those words finally hit. Someone had won the game. In true presenter fashion Nevada began to speak.

“Ladies and gentleman. It’s been fun these past two years, but all terrible things must come to an end. So let me tell you the result of this glorious game. In third place we have Team Mary Jane with a score of 42 points!”

“Fuck.”

“Boo.”

“There’s always next time.”

“In second place we have the home favoritesTeam Casino FruitCake with a total of 61 points!”  
…  
“And finally in first place, though it pains me to say it, with a total of 65 points we have Team Drunk Beach Hoes!”  
“Pay up bitches.”  
“My state ain’t poor no more.”

“Bitch please its only $6500 a piece. Your state is gonna be poor no matter what.”

“I have no regrets.”

The losing states begrudgingly tossed their money on the table only for it to be snatched up by the winners. Nevada was bummed he lost but hey at least he’s not broke like Bama. Texas was really looking forward to a new set if pistols and Mississippi wanted a new Tomahawk. Colorado wanted some fancy ass chocolate with a little something extra. Georgia was gonna buy a year's supply of peaches, the canned ones but she’d never admit it. The only one not upset was New York,because he got whatever he wanted from his father anyway. His allowance was huge.

“Hey what are y’all gonna do with that money anyway?” someone asked.

“Join scientology,” 

“Keep my sex shop open.”

“Buy a better camera for black mail.”

And that was that. At least until a voice came over the intercom.

“Heya this is the Hero speaking! I just thought I should let you know that as of today the nations are aware of your existence! Don’t worry though it’s all good cause they’re gonna come visit us Tomorrow! Isn’t that just epic?!? Anyway, lights out at 11:00! Good Night!!!”

“Oh shit.”

So how did the nations come to find out about the states? And what will happen once the nations learn the identities of their acquaintance? Well that’s a story for a later date.


	2. Through the Window

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alaska goes missing, Hawaii's in tears, and a few states make a surprise appearance at the world conference.

America’s POV

He was late. Well Germany would say he was late. Hell! The whole conference would say he was late, but in truth a hero was never late. And what a hero he was. He kept the world in line, he kept his people happy, and most importantly he kept his kids safe. It was with this thought that he ran around the whole three story house stopping at each and every room telling his children goodbye, and kissing his youngest, little Alaska and Hawaii, on the forehead. When he’d finally gone through each and every room, he raced toward the door car keys in hand, his classic jacket on his back. He threw open the door and ran straight into Tony. He was momentarily stunned but he recovered quickly saying,

“Great Tony! Glad I caught you dude. Watch the little ones for me while I’m gone will ya? I’ve been told the older kids are having an important meeting. Something about a Key Lime Pie, a cat, and a hang glider."  
“Shit fuck you” (You will buy me the new Call of Duty.)

“Sure dude! Catch you later!”

And with that America hopped in the car and sped off to the nearest Micky D’s. He had to grab his morning burger after all. When he got to the drive through window, he couldn’t find his credit card, luckily he had cash. Nevertheless he was now really really late. No! No. The hero was never late. Yep that’s right hero’s are never late. Others were just early.  
When he finally made it to the conference room he could tell Germany was fuming. 

“AMERICA! Where the hell have you been?! We’ve been waiting for half an hour!”

“Just grabbin a burger dude! A hero has to have his nutrition! Can’t fight crime on an empty stomach!”

Germany looked like he was about to blow his gasket. His face was all scrunched up and the vein on his forehead appeared as though it was going to burst. With a quick look around the room it seemed he wasn’t the only one.

“America you twat! You were supposed to present first, but look at the time. Though I guess it’s for the best considering you probably just created another superhero replica.”  
“It’s true mon amie. Though more importantly, look at my sexy hair. Isn’t it fantastique? It gets better every minute. What a shame Amérique, that your poor hair will never be as beautiful as mine.”

He thought his hair looked just fine, thank you. Russia even said Nantucket was sexy as hell and France didn’t seem to mind back during the revolution. Stupid France. 

“You bloody frog. Nobody cares about your hair. In fact I think it looks rather silly.”

At that point, in true meeting fashion. The room burst into chaos.

“You black sheep of Europe-” shrieked France as he leapt out of his chair at the unsuspecting englishmen. 

“Look at that awesome fight!” 

“Ve, does anyone have any PASTA?”

“Romano-”

“Tomato Bastard! Get away from me!”

“Don’t touch me there!”

“Kolkolkolkol.”

“Scary.”

“Has anyone seen my panda aru?”

“HAHAHAHA-”

“THAT IS ENOUGH!!!” Screamed germany. He picked up his chair and smashed it against the table. It splintered, pieces flew across the room knocking out Lithuania, and causing Russia to bat a piece away with his pipe. America honestly had no idea where he pulled that pipe from. He’d torn the nation's clothes many times, but had never actually seen where the pipe was stored. “Mein gott, what is wrong with all of you? Why must we do this every single time we meet. America go sit down. Italy there is no pasta. France, Spain, remove your hands, we do not engage in such inappropriate activities in public. It is disgraceful!” And as always the room was inevitably quiet, for no one, not even America himself, wished to be on the receiving end of the German Nation’s wrath. America found his seat quickly and sat down. He was seated between Ukraine and France, who was now separated from England by Switzerland, and across from Russia. 

The next few hours passed in a blur. There were no more major incidents, though several Nations, i.e. the Baltics, began to cry when Russia gave his presentation. And soon the Lunch break was upon them. 

“And that concludes my presentation.”

The laptop slammed shut startling several nations awake from a deep slumber. America was one of those nations.

“All right then.” Began Germany, “It’s 12:30 which means it’s time for a thirty minute break. Please use this time to eat and relieve yourselves. The bathroom is down the hall to the left.”

America lifted his shirt, revealing his sweet abs, and candy fell out like rain.

“America, you disgust me.”

“You’re just jelly that-”

His phone vibrated in his pocket as the song Somewhere Over the Rainbow rang out, the noise reaching across the room. Several of the nations turned their attention to him. He picked up the phone anyway. It was almost certainly Hawaii, if the ringtone was anything to go by. 

“Daddy.” Sobbed Hawaii from the other side. “It’sterribleIcan’tfindbigbrotherandthe otherstatesarebusyandIdontwanttobotherthemandTonyislockedinhisroomandImallalone.” 

He walked right outside of the room, not wanting any of the other nations to hear their conversation. Russia gave him a concerned look. “Hey. It’s alright my little flower bud. I’m right here, but I need you to slow down so I can understand what you’re saying ok?” He whispered into the phone.

“Daddy. I’m all alone. Tony is locked in his room and won’t come out, and my brothers and sisters told me not to bother them. But most of all I’m all alone because Evan’s gone missing!”

“Shit! Oh sorry, don’t say that word ok? Let Daddy handle it my little flower bud. Go wait in your room. I’ll have Louise come and get you something to eat ok? So just hang tight ok?”

“Ok daddy.”

“Amérique! Who are you talking to?” Called France, popping his head through the doorway. “Is it your lover?”

“Ew dude. No way! Give me a second. I’m busy.” France huffed but went back inside, so turned his attention back to his daughter. “ Now Daddy loves you, but he’s got to go alright. I promise everything will be fine.”

“Ok, I love you too. Bye daddy.”

“Bye my little flower.” The line went dead and dread filled his heart. She was so young and her family wasn’t there for her when she needed them. What the hell was Tony thinking and where was Alaska?

He shot a text to Delaware. 

America: Hey Hawaii called, apparently Alaska’s missing and Tony’s unresponsive. Get the situation under control by the time I get back. Have Louise take care of Liliu, they get along best. Send out Pepper (Pennsylvania), Sedric ((Massachusetts), and Jeric (New Jersey) to search for Evan. I authorize the use of Helicopters, but nothing more lethal than tranquilizers. Understood? I’m in a meeting and can’t do much now, but I’ll deal with the aftermath when I get back.

Delaware: Yes Sir. I understand. I’ll get on it right now.

He had just finished reading his response when Germany called for the Nation’s attention from inside the conference room. He walked back to his seat and sat down. Within minutes the conference was kicked into full gear. Feliciano, Antonio, and Romano had a joint presentation on agriculture. Though it was honestly just an excuse to rant about tomatoes, at least until Romano got into a heated debate with Germany over the idiocy of Potatoes. 

“Potato Bastard! Potatoes like yourself are stupid and useless. They are English food of the vegetable world.”

“You uncultured twat I resent that-”

“Your food is truly terrible mon chéri.”

“Potatoes are the life force of many countries including Germany and Ireland.”

At this point America tuned them out, he was worried for his children. They were good kids, but he worried for their safety. Not just for their safety, but the public’s safety. What if Alaska took out his pickaxe and broke into a bank? Or what if Jersey crashed his helicopter into the empire state building because Alaska wanted to play King Kong? The possibilities were endless. 

America was dragged out of his thoughts when Ivan scooted forward and kicked his ankle. He looked up sharply and saw Russia push a piece of paper to him from across the table. Of course no one noticed because they were all too busy watching the Tomato/Potato argument unfold into a dramatic circus act. It wasn’t like they were actively trying to keep their relationship a secret, but their private life was private and unless explicitly asked they intended to keep it to themselves.

He unfolded the piece of paper and read the content:  
Любовь моя, are you alright?

He wrote down his response and passed it back:  
No, Alaska has gone missing.

Russia looked at him and pointed towards the lone window. Lo and behold there was Alaska, suction cupped to the outside of the wall, wearing a bicycles helmet, and attempting to open the window. America's eyes widened, his jaw dropped to the floor and he prayed. He prayed to whatever god would listen that nobody noticed that little 7 year old face pressed against the window.

Though as fate would have it, those prayers would go unanswered because after what felt like hours and several arguments later. A large breeze of cool air flooded the room. Alaska had finally gotten the window open. 

“It suddenly got kind of cold in here aru.”

“It rearry did. I’m quite cord suddenry.” 

“Da but I am used to the cold.”

He shivered. This wasn’t going to end well. He watched in slow motion as North Italy turned toward the window. Confusion painted across his face. 

“Ve, Germany?”

“Yes Italy.”

“Who is that boy crawling through the window?”

“Pardon?”

All heads turned towards the window.

“Awesome.”

Then hell broke loose. Starting with the sound of screaming and yelling drowned out by the sound of the approaching chopper. It stopped right in front of the window and voices called out through the speaker.

“Alaska Jones. We All aska that you get your ass out of the building and stop bothering our father.” The speaker snickered at their joke. It wasn’t all that funny to America. Ok, maybe it would’ve been if they not just revealed a centuries old secret to the world. Lithuania passed out (again), France fainted, England spilled his tea, and Russia, he just smiled. Kolkolkolkol.

Alaska yelled back, “You’ll never take me alive, you Jersey Shore motherfuckers.” 

The voice projected again “Jersey Shore motherfucker you say, watch this you tiny alcoholic pickaxe wielding bastard!” Oh fuck Jersey’s driving the helicopter was his last thought before said helicopter crashed through the backwall.

Debris flew everywhere. The table was uphended and most of the nations were thrown backwards by the force of the blow. Alaska was still standing though, pickaxe in hand, power ranger posing for the world to see. At some point he’d lost his pants, revealing superman boxers, but he didn’t seem to care at all. As a father, America felt kind of proud. He’d raised a good son. Russia seemed to feel the same way as he walked up behind America and placed his hand on his shoulder. He gave a silent nod and small smile.  
The helicopter landed and figures decked out in Victorian era clothing and elaborate masks emerged from the chopper and dragged a now kicking and screaming Alaska into the Helicopter. The figure on the right gave a quick “Sorry dad, this was what we were wearing when you texted,” before hopping back into the chopper with the other three and taking off. 

The nations watched in shocked silence as the chopper flew off into the sunset. The fact that Japan was the first person to break that silence was even more abnormal than the event itself.

“Did that rearry happen?”

“Yes Japan.” responded Germany. “I do believe it did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed that little gem. I'm going to try to keep up with regular updates like this, but I don't have any breaks for the holidays so it might be a little difficult. Nevertheless, I'm really excited about this next chapter, it might give you a little into how things went so terribly wrong. I'm also introducing several more states including the Dakotas, who have quickly become some of my personal favorites to write.


End file.
